We talk a bit, her feet on the dash and I'm catching a great view of her undies. Small talk, then she directs me down this woods road. As we pull into the dooryard at the end, she invites me in. Letting the little head think for the big one, I follow her through the door. It's a nice place, stone fireplace in the living room, bigger than it looks from the outside."Would you like the Tour?" she asks, brushing her hair back with her hand and making her dress ride up in the motion. Sure! Walk through the kitchen, look out the glass door to the deck and a small pond. Into the bedroom. As we walk through the door, two burly guys sidestep from behind the doorway, trapping us there. "Done good, honey, " says the larger one. "I like the long, thick hair. He'll do NICE." I began to get panickey. "What's going on? I don't want any trouble," I say. "No trouble bitch," says the other guy. "And if you're REAL NICE" and do JUST what Bill and me say, YOU might get to leave in one piece!" "I'm sorry. They all are brought to the court house and all you can hear is chatter."Order in my court", screams the judge. "Can someone come up and please explain what happened?"Johnny speaks up, "Well you sees judge, at a Newfie wedding its tradition for the first mate to have a dance with the bride.So I gets up there and I'm dancing with the bride. She was grinding up on me you see and Tommy the groom didn't take kindly to that."So Tommy walks up and kicks her right in the pussy!!!" Right in the pussy?" The judge cringes as he says, "That must have hurt."Johnny says, "Hurt!!?? Broke three of me fingers!!!"You're An EXTREME Redneck When...1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.2 The Black Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.5 You wonder how service stations keep their.
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